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To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.

The road to success… is always under construction.

Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does milk.

In order to get a loan, you first need to prove that you don’t need it.

Since light travels faster than sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.

Everyone has a scheme of getting rich… which never works.

If at first you don’t succeed… destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls, it will always land on the buttered side.

Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.

As soon as you mention something… if it is good, it is taken. If it is bad, it happens.

He who has the gold, makes the rules.

If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late… the bus is still late.

Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.

When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.

If you have paper, you won’t have a pen… If you have a pen, you won’t have paper… if you have both, no one calls.

The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.

After a long wait for bus No.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in, will be more crowded than the other.

If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power outage tonight.

Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker.

(B&P)

(Warning: Language.)

Weightlifting commentator at the women’s Olympic Snatch and Jerk Event: “This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up, and it was amazing!”

Ted Walsh, horse racing commentator: “This is really a lovely horse, and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.”

Grand Prix Race announcer: “The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical to the one front of the similar one in back.”

Greg Norman, pro golfer: “I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.”

Ringside boxing analyst: “Sure there have been injuries and even some deaths in boxing — but none of them really that serious.”

Baseball announcer: “If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.”

Basketball analyst: “He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn’t like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.”

At a trophy ceremony, BBC TV boat race 1988: “Ah, isn’t that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is hugging the cox of the Oxford crew.”

Metro Radio, college football: “Julian Dicks is everywhere. It’s like they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field.”

U.S. Open TV commentator: “One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing so well is that, before each final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. … Oh, my God, what have I just said?”

(B&P)

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A little history of the show

11 things you should know

Program intro

YouTube links for more videos

Here are our new babes in a nutshell:

Our PFoW lady

Our BotW lady

Our NorN lady

Last week’s NorN babe had us going for awhile but, finally, the Not Nats won out.