Sharp shooter

SaloonA young cowboy sitting in a saloon one Saturday night recognized an elderly man standing at the bar who, in his day, had been the fastest gun in the west. The cowboy took a place next to the old-timer, bought him a drink and told him of his great ambition to be a great shot.

“Could you give me some tips?” he asked.

The old man said, “Well, for one thing, you’re wearing your gun too high – tie the holster a little lower down on your leg.”

“Will that make me a better gunfighter?”

“Sure will.”

The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his .44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player.

“That’s terrific! Got any more tips?”

“Yep. Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it – that’ll give you a smoother draw.”

“Will that make me a better gunfighter?”

“You bet it will.”

The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, and then shot a cufflink off the piano player.

“Wow! I’m learnin’ somethin’ here. Got any more tips?’”

The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. “See that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it.”

The young man smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun.

“No, I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all.”

“Will that make me a better gunfighter?”

“No, but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he’s gonna shove that gun right up your ass, and it won’t hurt as much.”

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