My Friday visit to the highly acclaimed, world renowned Morris Beer Store began as just another visit to an establishment where I was going to buy something. It may just as well have been Walmart or Ace Hardware. I slithered my body out of the truck with last week’s beer review printout in hand and made it through the silver aluminum portals of the MBS. I had no idea of what beer, at that time, I’d be reviewing the next evening. They say to never shop for food when you’re hungry. It was late morning and I hadn’t even had my first cup of tea. I considered myself safe from any beer hunger pangs. I also had no idea as to what was going to happen next.

I walked in and handed my review printout to Gail, the Beer Store Maven who briefly accepted the papers and returned to attending the customer she had at hand. I ambled/mosied/sashayed my way over to the primo beer shelf and began scrutinizing all the sixpack cartons that were on display. Suddenly, I was approached. A voice in my left ear said, “May I help you?” I looked over and gazed in awe. A young lady, blonde, svelte, beautiful, looked at me questioningly. My Stars! I was melted into a blonde cheese sandwich. I came to my senses in what seemed to me an eternity but probably lasted only milliseconds. “Uh, what do you have that’s new?” DOH! As old as I am, I’m still such a dork. Redemption: she said, “I dunno, let me ask my mom.” Gasp! It’s her daughter! The Magical MBS has its ways.

As if by some wizardry, Gail appeared in a puff of smoke. She started ushering me about the shelf. “We have this and this… oh, this is good. I don’t know about this, though”. While Gail chattered and ushered, my eyes fell upon one word on one sixpack which I hadn’t seen before. Vanilla. I remembered a Diggnation video podcast I watched a while ago where a vanilla/coffee beer was consumed with a good comments by both hosts. This was it. I’ll review this beer. I chose Breckenridge Vanilla Porter. $9.60 later (ouch!), I was out the door wondering if somehow, a young beautiful girl had influenced my thought patterns on my selection of this beer.

The wait for Saturday night had its trepidation. It was UFC fight night at my son’s house. That meant a ton of people and little space to set up the MacBook and take a couple of pictures for the review. I decided to show up a little early and made some room on the kitchen table. When the first guests started showing up with their libations, I decided it was time drink some beer. I grabbed a the first beer.

I beheaded the bottle and dumped the contents into the mug. As hoped for and as expected, the head came up and put on a display. Not a big head, but rather moderate, maybe 3/4 of an inch. The suds were quite thick and gave the signal of a great beer recipe. The beer was dark and could have reminded one of a glass of root beer. I held the mug up to the light and I was finally able to discern the bubblage. Not a lot and not a little. The bubbles were of medium size and the population was moderate.

Sniff time – I lifted the mug and partook of the aroma. Different. Very different, indeed. There’s something going on with the vanilla. This was a mystery aroma. I’ve never smelled an aroma like this before. A bit sweet and mostly different. Jeez, smells are so hard to describe in words. It was almost as if this beer was made in a back room at Baskin Robbins.

Determined to drink this beer regardless of what it tasted like, I grabbed a good sized first swig. Whammo! The flavor burst forth in my mouth like a mini M-80. Sweet. And different. And still beer. Man, I gotta taste this again. Another good sized sip and another blast of flavor. I was into the first beer about halfway and then the maltiness blended in with the sweet right under my nose. A very little trace of hoppiness seemed to be hidden. By the bottom of the glass, I was convinced that this beer is a keeper. The damned flavor never gave up! Greatness all the way down to the bottom of the glass. It didn’t feel thick nor did it taste especially dark. It was as if the vanilla either masked or melded with the maltiness to create this great flavor.

This is a good beer. You should try a sixpack at least once in your life. This beer has a sweetness and a persistence of taste that will kick the crap out your uvula. Take my word, this is not a girly beer. It’s a conglomeration of taste that will enlighten you right down to the bottom of the glass. This is a great beer while still being classified as a porter. The label is right. Remarkable.

The SixPackTech ratings for Breckenridge Vanilla Porter are:

Taste: B+ > the vanilla is a fooler.
Smoothness: B- > slick, easy, like a riverboat gambler.
Drinkability: B- > your vanilla tolerance enters in through the side door.
Bang for the buck: C- > pricey; a dark beer with a scoop of ice cream.
Wife’s all-encompassing opinion: “The smell reminds me of something… but I don’t know what. – Oh, it’s bitter. Very bitter. Very bitter.” (Crap! I thought we had her.)